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Writer Dilemas…who cares

The things I hate as a writer…

Time – Never enough, and why does my body need this thing called …sleep?

Editing – I’m not used to being wrong SO many times!

Reading your work– I’m terrible at this! I really want to read your work!  I will even pay for it instead of you giving it to me, but wth! I get hundreds offered to me! I can’t read everything, although I wish I could. Not to mention I love to read mommy porn (trashy sounding I know, but at least I’ll fess up to my addiction.) Anyone can tell you in any genre we read we are picky and it takes time – too much -to find just the right bad boy to read and that alone knocks out an hour or two of my day.I’m picky I won’t allow just any old woo ha to throw my inner Protagonist over any old desk. So, ‘No’ I have no time to read your stuff!

Social life- I have none. See 1. My social life is in words. It’s wherever your story takes me. My friends are made of smoke and mirrors and I remember every one of them. Ask me who I met yesterday…got no clue.

Loss of concentration in the real world– Where are my car keys? If it isn’t near my computer or book. We aren’t going anywhere for the next 30 minutes it’s gonna take time to find. Or how about? “I told you I’d meet you where? Really? I said that?” Darn writers if it isn’t written down you don’t exist.

My priorities are askew– Ask me when school break is – I got nothing. Don’t freak, I’m an awesome Mom. I’ll look it up in a minute. Ask me what page I’m on in a book…356. Or how many words I have down on my next novel 20689. Ok now ask me when my first appointment is tomorrow…again I got nadda. I’ll look it up early tomorrow.

Interruptions – I must look like a cat swaying a tail in a windowsill when I write because everyone approaches me with a million questions. Now picture that cat being thrown into water when you finally do get its attention. Not pretty, I’m not proud of who I become. Picture the creature in the movie ‘Alien’.

Time lines- When someone gives you a timeline for your writing it’s like saying. “Hey you! You need to get pregnant no later than this date so you can have the baby on this date.” No pressure JUST DO IT!

Pompous arrogant writers– Oh! You know who you are. Secretly saying you are a supporter and advocate of the new authors. Then you tell the beginner writers their work sucks so horrifically that if you read their work, word for word- out loud. It would surely cause the earth to lose its atmosphere and we’d all die. Burn it.

I will stay here for a moment- A fine line between direct help, and bloated sarcasm dripping with disdain. Be kind. Be helpful. Show, CHARACTER OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN WORK when helping other writers.

No Sense of space- When we authors get to know other authors. Just know we all support each other however we can. For instance I would LOVE to read your work. ALL OF IT, if I could. I will rate WHAT I READ. I give honest ratings because I expect the same in return. So please, please don’t be upset if I respectfully tell you I cannot read your work. It does not mean I don’t appreciate you. It means I’m shoulder high with crap, and unless you want me to unleash my laundry list of shit I have to do in a day, just accept my kind, ‘I’m sorry, No’. In the same breath….IT never hurts to ask….Just don’t shove it down my throat and don’t disown me because I can’t. Can I get an AMEN?

I Love what I do. Sometimes I just wonder why LOL! Be kind authors it’s our job to help other authors. Just know— we each have a line and a limit for everything.       

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Why the Change!

                                   stress smile                

I know, I know, change is good.

Easy for you to say you’re not a Hairdresser! The only change we like are style changes, color changes and price changes.

                          We Do Not Like to Change our Location.

If you’re a sick demented person and would like to see your hairdresser stress out, tell her/him you’re moving states and this is the last appointment he/she will ever see you.

Or how about, if you’re a salon owner and you tell your girls/guys, the shop is closing in a month.

Or even better, if you’re a stylist  and you tell the owner you and every girl/guy who work in current salon have decided to move on to another salon, together!  

Yep—— change in the hairdressing world is a very black and white topic. No grey area here. It’s stress or be stressed.

Creative thing watching each scenario play itself out.

If you, the client are moving and the relationship with the hairdresser has history, meaning we’ve been with you from anything to a life threating disease to births. The change we experience in losing you as a client is sad, we’ll miss you but you can and will be replaced just as easily as you replace us. I’ll use a Madea analogy here, if our lives represent trees then you the client are our leaves, seasonal. None the less you are a change, if even for friendship, a dent in our wallet, and you will be missed.

A Salon owner closing its doors, is another hard change to have to happen. For the owner giving up and throwing in the proverbial towel must be an overwhelmingly depressing situation to have happen. I believe in my heart of hearts the weight of this decision must be a horrendous. Now let’s look at it from a hairdresser’s point of view. “What the hell! You can’t close! Where do we go! All the other salons in the area hate us! You’re breaking up a team!”

Yeah for the most part it’s an ugly change to happen. Breaking up a work family is the reality of it all. Situations like living in a small town, work may be difficult to find, and leaving a work area you’ve stood behind for over 15 even 20 years can be a hard change. Worse the only other salon you can possibly work at has 3 girls you went to school with and they hate you for no other reason than …they just do. Don’t try to figure it out, it happens in all work facets. Personally I think being a nurse would be worse. Off topic and on we go.

Ah! The last change on our list! Hairdresser’s Revenge!

 You know what I’m talking about, leaving your current area of work, taking all the clientele. Gasp, secretly conspiring, luring all the hairdresser’s from a shop just to piss off the owner and bottom out your old bosses cash flow. I’ve never done this, I’d like to think I’m a better person than that, I’ve never conspired to screw a boss in such a fashion. I’ve been lucky enough to work for some amazing owners. Yet, I could name several salons in which this very scenario has played out, all the girls gone in one day. No warning, no notice – just gone.

Do I think it’s right?

No. However… I say however, If you are a shitty boss, you lie, don’t take care of your workers. It may be the kind of change you need to get your ass right with your workers. Trust me when I tell you word gets out if you’re a sucky boss, and if that kind of change happens in your salon—— The Change needed may be You.

Recap

Change sucks, sometimes it’s necessary, and sometimes it’s forced. Whatever the cause, whatever the situation for the change, you need to remember some things.

Change happens every day in every way and how you react to it is key. Be happy for the clients moving on. Be sympathetic for the people whose change will cause strife and heartache. Be ready for job switches and be nice to Other Hairdressers! You’ll get farther in this business with a better, happier attitude. No one likes a whiney bitch. So perk up, embrace change!      

       

 

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The Truth, Over the Counter Hair Color

2 picture fixThe truth about, ‘Over the Counter Hair Colors’
 
I believe the marketers for the over the counter quick color have lost their minds.
 
I keep reading on this AMAZING Over the counter color that will change your life – save you time and money from being my slave and listening to, and I quote, ‘gossipy hairdressers.’
 
GEEZ! *me throwing my color gloves on the floor.* Marketing JERKS!
 
I once heard something that I think fits this very situation on a smaller level.
 
If I give Eric Clapton My piece of shit guitar, I bet he’ll make it sound like it has been carved from heaven itself.
 
It will play well BECAUSE he’s fantastic at what he does.
 
Now let’s look at our people playing the instruments, shall we?
 
Nurses, teachers, moms, doctors, and lawyers. They do an excellent job at what they studied to become because they got TRAINED! Do you hold such little regard for your stylist to think you know better because it shows color on a label? WE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR THIS! WE know what we are doing —do you?
 
You do your job —we will do ours.
 
Time – You have kids, you’re single, and have odd hours, got it. Find a salon that’s open after hours, early hours. I will speak for myself and tell you I run on N.Y. time ——ALWAYS there for you. Some hairdressers work a full 18 hours and come back the next day to do it all again.
 
Money — 1.) You like the burgundy, huh? How’s that working for your blonde hair? O.H.! Pink, you say! Really how much have you saved? Now we are back to the cost of time in our chair to fix your lollipoop( yes, I said Lollipoop) hair.
 
                  2.) Understand this about the obscene money you can and do get charged by some- not all salons. Please, pay attention to where the expensive salon is located. Is it in a better than excellent neighborhood? Well, the property is not cheap, and so our booth rentals have gone up – our products KEEP going up and if you want to say you go to SHAY Butter salon —then you are going to pay SASHAY prices. Looks can be deceiving some of the better salons and better priced aren’t so pretty to look at, but they are clean, sanitary, and get rated by the same State Board. Great stylist are everywhere; some just don’t fit in with others at the Uber Salons. Remember, the girls/guys are equally as capable and professional.
 
Slave — ***WE hairdressers did not go to school for a year and over to do your hair for free ***
 
You are not our slaves go where you feel comfortable if you want to change where you are getting your hair done, but love your color, ASK her/him to give you the recipe. The reasonable ones will, if not I can promise you I can mix any color without knowing what crap was in it, why? Because I’m good at what I do.
 
Also, the pic that sits on a side by side for the products you see online to show you how well they did all by themselves is crap. I promise you, it is a professional cut, and I know Sally Sue DID not do that cut and that color- too many layers, that is not a home job, and you can see the leftover highlights in the hair that created that effect. Hell, the pic even makes M.E. want to do my own!
 
Some people will get away with it- dry, brittle crap, and bland as the day is long. No one likes a flat matt hair color, and the ones who need color are the ones going grey. You need depth, and the box will not give you the beautiful results you should be wearing.
 
We are moving on.
 
So why the big problem with over the counter hair color Heather?
 
Because Not all of you CAN DO it! And we have to fix the crap after you just got done reasoning with yourselves that you can do a better job than we can. 
Gossipy — Shut up – Every place has em. We talk kids – cancer – college- babies- vegetable gardens. 
So To the marketers —-Screw you —- advertise on something like, “SO you think you can do hair color? We want your money to be lazy. Do you know what a metallic salt is? No? Excellent TRY US! And if you screw up CALL YOUR LOCAL SALON FOR HELP AND REPAIR!”
 
We are PROFESSIONAL Hairdressers, and we are always inventing new and fun things for you to do at home. But if you can’t even blow your hair out like I can with a brush, what the hell are you doing putting color on that brush for!